Wednesday

Today sucked. To be blunt. Today I was emotionally evicerated, my former life and career plans dissected and questioned. In a room filled with people who could care less, my entire life was pulled apart, subject to even the most insensitive of insensitive questions. I always knew that the most detested profession was lawyers, now I have first hand experience as to why. Benefit of the doubt is for suckers.
Story goes something like this. I was born, I grew up. I made plans on how I wanted to live my life. I follow my heart, pull out all the stops, make ambition my driving force. Develop morals and standards. I get a centimeter away from getting what I want. I get into an accident caused by the actions of other people. I nearly die. I barely survive. In order to back some of what I’ve lost, I have to find an advocate wiling to invest in my tragedy, so long as the payout is good. I try to heal. Time goes by. My advocate builds a case. In order to reap any benefit, any form of retribution, my life has to be submitted to be dissected, analyzed. Through words and questions all the scar tissue is ripped off. The victim becomes re-victimized, while everyone else goes home, pats themselves on the back for a job well done. Money made, money saved, money earned.
What will I make? Some money, sure. Never enough. Most likely I’ll take it, invest it, live off it. Disappear, try to put all this behind me. I’m going to have a baby in a few months. A little life to shape and rear and turn into a decent person. Do I tell them the truth about the world, the state of humanity as it is now? Or do I keep it a secret, on a need to know basis. Keep them young and positive as long as possible so as not to spoil their outlook, their view of their fellow man. At the end of the day, we are all out for ourselves. It’s nothing more than a game. Look at the state of the planet and you’ll find all the proof you need.

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